Haverfordwest mum's life turned upside down by husband's illness

Nikki Stonehewer, 48, is the face of Mencap’s Why we Care campaign. Launched last week the campaign is urging government to invest more money into social care and give better recognition and pay to social care workers.

Nikki had been a stay at home mum since the birth of her first child when she was 17.

Her journey as a carer began one evening in 2015 when her husband Richard suffered a near-fatal brain haemorrhage.

Doctors told Nikki to prepare for the worst but miraculously Richard pulled through.

He came home from hospital with brain damage and unable to speak. Nikki took on responsibility for his personal care and use the techniques given by his speech and language therapist to help her husband start communicating again.

“When I sat by my husband’s hospital bedside praying he’d make it through after having a massive brain haemorrhage I never imagined anything positive would come out of it,” said Nikki.

“But it led me to work in social care, my calling in life. Over the months, as I nursed him back to health I realised I had a natural flair for supporting people, and the compassion and determination.

“It took a lot of patience but it felt amazing when I helped Richard learn to speak again and I wanted to support others to live their lives to the full as well.”

Nikki now works at Mencap, supporting three women who all have a learning disability. She helps them stay healthy, meet people and realise their ambitions, whether that’s attending college or learning new hobbies “It’s amazing helping them to socialise and achieve their goals,” she said.

“I get as much from them as they do from me – one has taught me how to do a perfect manicure and another has showed me how to crochet.

“We go to the gym and do hula-hooping together, spurring each other on. The other day we cooked a big meal together – one lady cooked a curry, while another chopped salad and the third kept us entertained as she danced around the kitchen.”

Nikki says that all of the skills she learnt nursing Richard back to health have helped her in my role.

“Even though there can be long hours and it can be hard to switch off, I get real job satisfaction from making a difference to people’s lives,” she said.

Nikki is supporting Mencap’s Why We Care campaign, so that support workers like herself feel valued and so that the general public recognises the role they play.

“We should do everything we can to protect the social care sector because we will all need it at some point in our lives,” she said.

“The role of a support worker is skilled – the pay varies but on average people get paid little more than minimum wage. But we should be paid the same as people doing equivalent roles in the NHS.

“There are so many people like me who are dedicated and passionate about working in social care but many are leaving because of industry-wide low pay due to government underfunding.”

Mencap says that are around 152,000 vacancies in social care, meaning many people are unable to get the care they need.

The charity is urging the government to provide more funding into social care to meet demand and also to allow providers to pay more to those working in social care.

It is keen to highlight the fact that many support workers take on a range of skilled roles from giving out medication, helping coach people into jobs and managing finances.

Mencap is urging government to come up with a plan to encourage people to stay working in social care including giving them a salary that mirrors similar skilled roles within the NHS and to invest £8.4 billion into social care, the amount needed to meet the demands of people needing social care and deliver improvements.

The charity is calling on everyone who values support worker to sign it’s petition to share that they care about the people who care at mencap.org.uk/whywecare.

“If you have ever needed social care or think you might need it in the future, please sign Mencap’s Why We Care petition,” said Nikki. “Together we can make a difference.”